Birth mother adoption requires a waiting period for the biological parents to reconsider their adoption plan. There are ways to reduce this revocation of consent probability if you ask the right questions before the birth. This is a different kind of “reclaim the child” scenario than we discussed in the last post and there are options to help with the transition that are less traumatic for all involved.
- One option is to have the child in a temporary setting until the final paperwork is signed and the legal documents are in place. This time period is different for every state. Adoption Discovery 101 course lists the time period on the state by state listing for you to review before you decide which state to finalize your adoption. This has been very helpful to many adoptive families. For example, at the time this post was written California had a 30 day waiting period while Georgia had a 10 day waiting period. For many this is a deciding factor.
- A Second option is to dig deep with the adoption professional before moving forward. The big question you should ask is how do they interview and counsel potential birth parents. Do they offer free counseling for the biological parents and family involved? Another important question is what is their success rate for birth parents not changing their mind? Do they know? If they are not tracking this and don’t have at least a 90% positive rate, beware.
There are so many details to consider but they are made so much easier when you can learn about the details of each kind of adoption before you dive in. Many of our Adoption Discovery members say it truly makes the process simple when you are led through it “one step at a time”.
Real Life Story
Pressing their hands together they held hands tightly, and searched each other’s faces to detect any signs of hesitancy in their decision. Mark and Michelle were knee deep in the adoption process. They had been approved and had made the decision to adopt domestically. They had chosen an agency and had gotten the phone call saying “We have a baby for you.” They were excited beyond words. They hopped on a plane and flew to the state where the child was being born. They arrived at the hospital and realized almost immediately something wasn’t quite right. It was a feeling, nothing more. They met their child in the nursery and were as nervous as the clock began ticking on the birth mother’s signature. Days went by and they felt excited and nervous mixed with a little exhaustion. The agency representative met with them to tell them the mother had changed her mind. They were devastated. Traveling home felt like a death sentence to their dreams. They spent the next few weeks grieving their loss. Michelle was talking to a family member about the whole situation and the relative suggested they watch a few videos on Adoption Discovery.org about birth mother adoption. Mark watched one on his lunch break the next day on his iPad and over dinner they discussed what they could do differently. They learned that the screening process by the agency made a big difference in their outcomes and also they never knew what questions to ask the agency that might help to prevent this heartbreak from happening to them again. They obtained a copy of their home study approval and ended up changing agencies and four months later the call came again. This time the process went completely different. They had a different expectation of their agency and a completely different perspective of the birth mother. They met her in person at the hospital and began their journey of adoption. The birth mother felt confident in her decision and after the waiting period expired she signed the papers and they traveled home with their new baby.
Too busy to volunteer? Even if it takes less than a minute?
If you know someone who is considering adoption and you want to help them send them a link to this post.
If you want to help more than just one, post this on your social media. There are people interested in adopting that have not even said the words out loud. Help them by giving just a minute of your time you can reach so many who need help now.